During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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