I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
