Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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