that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
