he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
