Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Houston, we have a squirter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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