Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
