i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
