OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
