whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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