You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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