This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
