I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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