Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
