Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
