she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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