i just wanna soil my oats bro
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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