Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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