He kissed a someone with a penis
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
