it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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