Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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