I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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