It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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