Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
