I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
