we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
