hell yes lets make some ravioli
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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