if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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