life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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