Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
