If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
