eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
