it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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