i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
