This dress was meant to end up on your floor
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
