This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize