Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
