DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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