My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize