that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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