WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I need to calm my uterus...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize