i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My vagina just clenched in fear
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