Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
