Are we in a gay sports bar?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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