My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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