Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So vagazzling was a success
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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