32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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