It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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