That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize