just come out here and I will go home with you...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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