reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
