Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
