Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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