All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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