spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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