Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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