Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
