Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i love accidental penises.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
