YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
