I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
A+ Viking dick
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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