you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
