True but thats because hes a fetus.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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