Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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